My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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