So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you win again, gameday.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
