Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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