everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
