You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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