O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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