On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
