Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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