At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she woke up with a sticky ear
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
