Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
