We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
