He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I love you. Go after that dick
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
