So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
