He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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