I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
