I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
