in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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