i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
