I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
