...so i touched it.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
