K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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