if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
