And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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