Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I DEMAND FORESKIN
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
