# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
