I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
