Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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