I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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