Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
