Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Thank you for not boning my boss.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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