she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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