So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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