maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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