So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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