Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
being pregnant is like rehab
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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