he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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