woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
