I wanna bring you to show and tell
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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