Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm both gender and math confused
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
