She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
