i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
