Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
