You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
birth control should be required to get into college
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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