i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
