Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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