I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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