And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Randomize
