At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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