Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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