summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
