Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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