There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
