it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
